Yes, I do shoot people. I actually love to shoot humans. I didn’t choose florals or still life because it’s easier. It’s not easier at all.
I’m not shooting portraits mostly because I hate the sales pitch, and the prints and derivative products pushing. Emails twice a day to check if the gallery is up, deadlines.
In fact, I hate constraints, of all sorts. I like to think I’m a free spirit but the truth is maybe I’m more of a rebel. Authority gives me a hard time. Especially in my creative work where my process takes some time. I would never have made it in the army. I’m not much of a “yes sir”, “no sir”, “right away sir” woman. So, portraiture probably consists in less than 20% of my work. I could use models, but then I’d need releases. Models would want copies for their portfolios, make-up artist would want some too. Hassle. Too much time spent not creating. Don’t like it.
The problem is I absolutely love the feeling I get when I look at portraits. But my stubbornness towards constraints prevents me to shoot more of them, thus becoming in itself a restriction… Here I am running in circles. I do that way too often for my taste and I wonder which constraint is the worse. Surely the one that stops me from creating. I become my worst enemy, my own barricade. Don’t get me wrong I love shooting my still life or fine art, but some days I crave for soulful images. They’re the ones I prefer. But yet… When my mind does that, it irritates me to no end. The stillness, the indecision. Maybe it’s because I’m a Libra. Maybe it’s simply what life is about, part dreaming and waiting for the perfect conditions, part being in it with both feet, doing your best. Getting there one day at a time.
This post, and glimpse of my jumbled up mind, is part of our Sisterhood Stories circle. Please visit Claudia’s blog and leave some love along the way xox