Sisterhood Stories is our new project,  born from friendship with other female photographers which share the same love,  passion and weaknesses (and craziness too).  Together we will be sharing moments in our personal journey, every Wednesday, in a blog circle.   Follow the link to Abby Lanes Photography to continue in the circle, with love xoxo

A box of photographs
A chest full of her beloved rings
A bag of her favorite dresses
Bottles of perfume
Is all I have left…

 

The memory of you fades with each passing day,  and I’m terrified of losing what little of you I still possess.  I wish I could hold on to my childhood memories, but as you always knew,  I can’t recall much and now that you’re not there to tell me again and again all that made me who I am today,  I feel like I not only lost my mother but my childhood as well.  I do know that the mother I am today,  I owe it all to you.    Every minute with my sons now take a whole new meaning,  leaves a deeper imprint,  engraves a new memory in my heart.  Filling the hole left when I lost you.  I want to make memories,  not only capture them,  as photos,  as beautiful as they are,  will never replace the real moments.  They can’t capture the sweet apricot smell of my newborn boy,  they can’t make you feel the warmth of a morning hug or the softness of a kiss.

There’s this urgency now to make memories,  many of them.   And at the same time there’s this creeping anxiety that I will not recall them,  just as I can’t recall most of my childhood and the thought of it is unbearable,  that’s why I hold on so preciously to that single box of photos you left me,  and to the ones I have of my sons.   I hope they remember the mother I am and was to them,  because not remembering you,  mom,  is so painful.   I sure wish you didn’t leave that fast,  and that I had more time to make up for all my  brain has not captured at the time.   I’m sorry my memory failed you and I love you.

 

Please follow the circle by reading this post by my very talented friend Abby Lanes Photography

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